Just a Shot to the Left and a Sip to the Right
by jacksparrow589
Summary: During a visit to Chris's during Roy's apprenticeship, he and Riza somewhat reluctantly seize a rather unusual opportunity Chris sets before them, with unsurprising, mild, and somewhat fluffy consequences. T for rather obvious reasons. Oneshot.


**Just a Shot to the Left and a Sip to the Right**

**A/N: Okay, okay, I know, I know: under-aged drinking is BAD. Two things: 1) Chris wouldn't let them get into any dangerous/otherwise generally bad situations. 2) Consider that the drinking age might not actually be all that high. I mean, in a lot of places, it's 18, and I'm going to say Roy is around 19 here, and in a few places, it's 16, which I'm going to say Riza is around (if not slightly older than) here.**

"…and since then, I haven't been able to convince myself that not all cats hate me," finished Roy, looking rather chagrined.

Riza laughed aloud. "I thought you had more sense than that, Roy!"

"I was five!" Roy protested half-heartedly, quickly dissolving into low laughs of his own.

"Good to see you two enjoying yourselves," Chris observed drily. "But I still think these are an order." In front of Riza, she placed a clear beverage with a couple slices of lime and a good deal of ice. "A gin and tonic for you—" A shotglass filled with a yellow ochre substance was set down in front of Roy. "—and rum for you."

Both teens were stunned. Roy, as usual, was the first to speak, and even then, he couldn't come up with more than, "Um, Chris…"

Roy's aunt flapped a hand at them. "You'll be fine. I'll be watching you like a hawk, and, if necessary, locking your doors until morning. I see no harm in it, and what Mr. Hawkeye doesn't know won't hurt him." She sidled over to the other end of the bar.

The pair exchanged nervous glances. As if they had arranged it previously, they reached for their glasses with such resigned expressions that they could easily be mistaken as having just agreed to march ten paces and draw pistols at dawn—with blindfolds, earplugs, and no medical attention to speak of.

"Cheers?" Roy offered meekly.

Riza touched her glass to his. "Bottoms up," she responded grimly.

Roy downed the entire shot with a shudder, and Riza took a small mouthful of her drink, neither breaking eye contact with the other even to blink.

Slow smiles crept onto their faces after a moment, and each chuckled shakily.

"To look at you two, you'd think I'd poisoned those." Now Chris sounded mildly offended, but expression was one of thorough amusement. She poured Roy another shot of rum, then left the bottle. "I trust you know your limit, Roy." With Roy's grave nod, she excused herself again.

At Riza's curious look, Roy explained, "She started me off on whiskey, which is an acquired taste, but shockingly easy to get drunk off of on an empty stomach, though I suppose champagne is worse… Anyway, suffice it to say, I know when I'm going." He downed a quarter of his current shot. "What about you?"

Riza couldn't stop a bit of a blush. "I've never been completely drunk, and we'll leave it at that," she answered, quickly taking a sip afterward.

Roy let out a low whistle, looking impressed despite (or perhaps due to) the implication. "My, my, Riza Hawkeye, what have _you_ been up to?"

"Nothing nearly as bad as I could be, I promise." Riza sighed. "I'm cautiously adventurous."

"Huh." Roy grinned and swallowed half of what remained to his shot. "You're interesting is what you are. Intriguing, actually. I don't know if any other person could call themselves 'cautiously adventurous'—you're the one girl who could ever get away with it." He clinked his glass against Riza's. "Here's to the young lady who makes my life more interesting by the day."

Riza smiled shyly, a bit embarrassed. "To the young man who, against all odds, has become one of my most reliable friends."

"To us," Roy summarized.

"To us," Riza agreed.

* * *

Truth be told, Roy was probably pushing his limit, but he was well aware of his current surroundings and situation, and the more sober part of him was disparaging what the less sober part was rejoicing over: the trek to their rooms above the club. Stories involving even only slightly inebriated teenagers in dark, close, deserted hallways never did end well.

And Roy was probably a little more than slightly inebriated.

Riza, too, wasn't quite all there, but was most likely a sight more sober than Roy was. Either that, or she was so high-functioning a drunk that it was marginally terrifying.

"Hey," he whispered loudly. "Are you… How drunk are you?" He winced; it hadn't sounded _that_ stupid in his head.

With a slightly exasperated expression, Riza sighed and answered, "I'm buzzed. Mellow. Nowhere near gone. You, on the other hand…"

"Not as bad as I sounded there," Roy hastened to assure her. "I can still walk in a mostly-straight line."

Riza smiled faintly in the dim light. "Well, I suppose it could be worse."

_You have __**no**__ idea. _"Let's not go there."

Again, they hesitated for a moment, barely breathing, before exhaling heavily. "Yeah," Riza said quietly. "Let's not and say we did."

"Let's not even _say_ we did," Roy suggested with a half grin.

Riza returned the smile after a moment. "Good night, Roy." She turned to go.

Despite his own warnings, Roy could see how the next few moments would play out, and it was bad; _oh,_ was it bad, but it was going to happen because it couldn't any other time. "Riza," he called, sudden but soft. He started after her and grabbed her sleeve.

She'd barely turned before he had a hand cupped behind her head, pulling her close, and a split second later, it was all gone. Once the kisses started, there was no going back, especially not when she tasted so enticingly bitter, and he so maddeningly sweet, and the haze of it all was so pleasant…

Riza rather reluctantly and gently pushed him away after… well, neither of them really knew how long it had been, but probably too long. "This… probably isn't a good idea," she breathed, barely needing to whisper with Roy's face still just an inch or two from hers.

"Not here and now and like this, anyway," Roy agreed, dropping his hands from her shoulders to grasp her hands and taking a small step back. He looked guilty. "I really shouldn't've, but I wanted to… I _want_ to… and not just here and now and like this…" he trailed off, looked at the floor, then sighed. "But my judgment's pretty much gone to hell between that and the drinks, so I'm really glad you're being responsible. You always are." He looked back to her, his trademark half-smile now tinged only very faintly with a kind of sadness and regret. "I like that. Honest."

Biting her lip for a moment, Riza digested what had just been said. Finally, she spoke. "It's not just your fault, and it wouldn't be even if we weren't 'here and now and like this'." She let that sink in for a moment, then, "Good night, Roy."

"Good night, Riza." He held her hands until the last possible moment, releasing them with a faint squeeze.

As he ambled into his own room, Roy reflected that stories involving even only slightly inebriated teenagers in dark, close, deserted hallways never did end well only because there was no good way for them to end; someone always came away unhappy. Some outcomes just happened to be better (or at least, more socially acceptable) than others, and that would have to count for now.

_It's not just your fault, and it wouldn't be even if we weren't 'here and now and like this'._ Well, at least he wasn't completely crazy; either that, or they were both in way over their heads.

"_Ugh._" This was making his head hurt, and if it was any other night, he wouldn't be getting to sleep for hours after this. Then again, if it was any other night, at least some part of this wouldn't be a problem… _No._ Time to stop thinking. Time to just drift away.

He knew he'd have to deal with it sooner or later, and for that, he'd need to be able to think straight, and for _that,_ he needed sleep.

As Roy drifted off into the semi-coherent daze that came before sleep, he couldn't help but think somewhat grudgingly, _at least alcohol is good for __**something.**_

**A/N: Okay, so, never had a gin and tonic, but I know tonic water is quite bitter, and gin… well, I dunno, honestly. As to rum, my mom detests it, so we don't keep any on hand just 'cause it's not practical. I have had rum balls and butter rum Lifesavers. Both are sweet. Ergo, rum, to my mind, would be sort of sweet.**

**Anyway, this has been in my head for absolute **_**ages,**_** but I never could make it come out without sounding at least somewhat like a trashy romance novel, so I thought, what the heck—I'll just write it and have fun! And I did.**

**If you want to see my idea of a **_**very**_** drunk Riza, go read "So Far Gone, Farther Yet to Go". There is a veiled reference to this in it.**

**Er, please review? I'd like to know if my fun was worth it in the end. (Well, to you guys. I know it was worth it to me!) Thank you!**


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